Hey. It's been a while. A long while. I actually just now remembered that I didn't say anything to my disappearance. I'm still not going to be that active, mostly because there isn't really for me to post. Barely drawing anything, barely playing the piano, barely writing music... My interest in everything is washing away. Things have been hard for me here, and I know people hate it when people complain here on deviantART, but I don't know what else to do.
I broke up with my boyfriend a while ago. We were together for more than two years. All of my other friends are off in college all over the place, out of reach. Some an hour or two away, some in other states. And here I am, not even in community college and barely working any hours. Stepmother is pissed off at me and keeps sending threats of kicking me out of the house. Dad won't help or listen. Or understand the problem, because bring depressed means you're lazy in this household. Even though I already been diagnosed for depression.
Where are my friends? Where are the people to spend time with? To have fun? To laugh? To talk about problems? My doctor noted that my depression has gotten a lot worse and amped up the amount of medicine to take, as well as taking a new one at it. She also considered for me to go to a mental hospital... *sigh* Is taking medicine, seeing doctors and going to hospitals really going to help? I want to believe that being able to be with my friends again will help me, but now I'm thinking that this is a type of loneliness that lingers for a long time.
Who the hell am I? What have I become? Where did the loving girl who loved being creative go? I want her back. I want my friends back. I want the simpler days of childhood back. But this stuff that I want... No matter how hard I work for it, I will never get what I want. Time's up.